You Can Count That a Day Well Spent

I was privileged to meet Sandy and her husband, George, in the hospital after her physician consulted hospice to talk with her about discontinuing dialysis. Sandy was only fifty-one years old; she was blind, had both legs amputated and had been on dialysis for renal failure; all complications of diabetes. Sandy soberly understood the consequences of discontinuing dialysis. She affirmed, “I know that if I stop dialysis I could die in a few days or a few weeks. But I’m just tired of hurting.” She cried, “I just don’t want to live like this anymore. But I’m afraid I’m letting my family down.” George assured her, “You aren’t letting us down. It’s your decision.”

Sandy and George talked about enjoying their “country life”, especially having horses. Sandy appeared so soft spoken and gentle that it surprised me when she told me she had her motorcycle license. When I responded, “You took the motorcycle test and got your license!” Sandy replied, “Where do you think I got it; out of a Cracker Jack box?” Sandy may have been tired but she was still feisty.

Sandy opted to discontinue dialysis, enrolled in hospice, and returned to the nursing home where she’d resided for the previous three months. One day Sandy’s hospice aid, Sue, informed me, “Sandy was asking about you today. I think she’d like to see you.” When I arrived Sandy immediately started crying and admitted, “I’ve been worrying about a lot of things. Do you think God looks down on cremation? As we discussed her question she concluded, “The soul is what counts; ashes to ashes. I just want to make sure my soul goes to heaven.”

Then Sandy’s mind transitioned from anxiety to reconciliation and resolution: “I’ve learned a lot since I’ve been in the nursing home. When I first came back here I went through a stubborn spell. I’m blind, so I decided that if they didn’t feed me I wouldn’t eat. I was just thinking about myself. Now I find myself thinking about other people besides myself. I pray for people. I pray for the whole world. There are people who have it worse than me. I’m really blessed. The nursing staff here is so good to me. I was crying the other night and one of the nurses just sat and held my hand. That meant so much to me. She told me to call her anytime and she would sit with me, even if she was at home when I called.”

Sandy also shared how close she’d gotten to her Hospice aid, Sue, “She has grown to be a very close friend. She talks to me. She tells me about her family and I tell her about mine, and we pray for each other. She tells me jokes and gets me laughing.” Sandy continued, “I know that God has me here for a reason. I’ve been thinking about getting involved in the activities here. I thought that if I could do something constructive and look back on the day and know that I said a kind word to someone or made someone smile, I would be able to sleep better.”

Sandy’s unselfish resolve reminds me of a stanza from a poem: “If you can sit down at the set of sun and count the acts that you have done. And counting, find one self-denying deed, one word, that eased the heart of him who heard; one glance most kind; that fell like sunshine where it went – Then you may count that day well spent.”

Sandy concluded, “I just hope I can die with dignity like the lady down the hall. You never heard her say a word. She never complained. I’ve prayed that God would give me the dignity to die like that.”

Sandy’s testimony was so inspiring that I asked her permission to publish it. She graciously and humbly agreed and then asked me, “If I’m not still around to see it, will you be mad at me?”

I’d planned on visiting Sandy the day that I finished this final draft, but I was informed she’d died the night before. I’m convinced her prayer was answered, that God had given her the dignity to die like the lady down the hall. After all, I witnessed irrefutable evidence. And, no, I’m not mad; I’m privileged, I’m humbled, I’m thankful.

Why not resolve to live with the same dignity that Sandy died with? After all, it won’t cost us a cent. And just maybe we’ll be able to count our days “well spent”.

“Do nothing out of selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4)

Remember a Dollar For The Homeless

Dallas is seventy-nine years old and a hospice patient with terminal cancer. He, and his wife Ginny, live in a modest duplex in town. Dallas loves the outdoors and loves to manicure his lawn. He admits that he’s struggling a little with his prognosis. He’s doing better than the doctors predicted so he wanders where on the road he is. With a quivering voice and tears in his eyes, Dallas pointed up and declared, “God is the only one who really knows and He is the only one who can heal me. So I’ll just keep pushing until I can’t push no more.”

Dallas and Ginny were children during the Great Depression. Ginny recounted: “Nobody had jobs then. We had fried potatoes and biscuits and gravy for breakfast. An egg, well, that was for rich people. The hobos would come to our door almost every day. They marked the houses some way; so they could all know which houses would give them something to eat. Mom and dad always helped out strangers. They were generous like that. When a hobo came to the door mom would always give them something to eat. She would tell them to sit on the front porch. She would fix them a plate of whatever we had left over. Mom would sprinkle water over the left over biscuits and then reheat them to make them soft again. She’d carry the food out to the front porch and sometimes she would sit down and talk with them. When they were finished they always said thank you. Dallas added, “Sometimes you would see them on the streets holding signs ‘Will work for food’. But you never saw them after dark. I think they stayed under the bridge. They never bothered any body.”

“Homelessness” is just a new name for an age old problem. Jesus said, “For you have the poor always with you” (Matthew 26:11) Almost thirty-five hundred years ago, God directed Moses to command the people: “When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not wholly reap the corners of your field …You shall leave them for the poor and for the stranger…” (Leviticus 23:22). And the Apostle Paul wrote, “…we should remember the poor...”(Galatians 2:10)

But it seems more complicated today, doesn’t it? We still see people holding signs stating, “Will work for food”; or they come up to us and ask, “Can you spare a couple bucks?” How do we know if the need is legitimate? Even when we do give, we wander if we did the right thing. Did we really help or just help someone buy alcohol or drugs?

I want to suggest something that is a “right thing”. The church my family attends has a large pot located at the door. At the end of every service the congregation is encouraged to, “Remember, a dollar for the homeless”. The money collected in the pot is donated to the local homeless shelter. A dollar seems so insignificant. But do you know what. It feels so good to play a small part in something so big.

Out of curiosity, I called the homeless shelter last week to see what difference our donations make. Diane, one of the employees told me, “We couldn’t run without the help. I don’t know what we would do.” She stated that a few other churches and several civic organizations also help, “The community is really good to us.”

I asked about the services they provide and Diane replied, “We are considered an ‘emergency shelter’ so we can only provide food and shelter for a maximum of 30 days every 18 months. We can house up to thirty-six residents and we always have kids”. The staff helps clients obtain services and benefits they are entitled to; they help them find permanent housing when possible; they teach money management; engage in “homeless prevention” by helping with rent and utilities; and operate a food pantry. Diane stated, “It’s just like trying to keep up a large house…Just buying toilette paper for 36 people is expensive.” I asked what they would like to do if they had more money. Diane replied, “We’d like to buy new beds…remodel our kitchen…add a bathroom...”

Now the challenge! There are over a hundred churches in our area. If each congregation averages only fifty people, and every person gave “…a dollar for the homeless”, it would add up to $260,000 a year. Can you imagine what could legitimately be done; the scope of services that could be provided? We could collectively meet most of the legitimate basic needs of the homeless in our area, one dollar at a time. Then, even when we decide not to give the fellow on the corner a couple bucks, we don’t have to feel ashamed, because we are still doing something.

If you’re a pastor, I challenge you, in a spirit of cooperation, to invite and allow your congregation to, “Remember, a dollar for the homeless” If you attend a local congregation, I challenge you to make the suggestion. In case you need to call the homeless shelter to tell them your money is on its way, their telephone number is 353-4085.