Living & Dying The Choices I've Made

Ronnie was forty-five when admitted to hospice for end stage cirrhosis of the liver. He’s lived with his sister, “Net”, for the past thirteen years. But he does have his “man cave”, a renovated shed behind the main house, to which he retreats. After all, a man does need a little solitude from time to time.

Ronnie is an alcoholic but hasn’t drank for two years. Net stated, “The doctor told him that if he drinks anymore it will kill him…The only time he wasn’t drinking was when he was sleeping…Mom used to buy him beer but I’m sterner than mom. Ronnie took after mom. He’s soft hearted. He would give you the shirt off his back. But he lost his family over drinking.”

Ronnie admitted, “Nobody makes you do anything. You’re the one that does it. Nobody is holding a gun to your head. They aren’t twisting your arm…When I was a kid my dad told me, ‘Son, you made your bed; now you’re going to have to lie in it.’ When I was a kid I didn’t know what he was talking about. I thought, ‘I didn’t even make my bed!’ It took me a long time to figure out what dad was talking about.”

I told Ronnie that his life reminded me of the George Jones song, ‘Choices’: “I’ve had choices since the day that I was born. There were voices that told me right from wrong. If I had listened, no, I wouldn't be here today; living and dying with the choices I made.”

Then Ronnie exclaimed, “I met George Jones! Me and my wife lived in Lakeland, Florida before we broke up and George Jones had a house down there. He always bought his whisky at the liquor store where my wife worked. And our house was just across the road so I saw him all the time. He was just as common as me and you. He drove an old Volkswagen Beetle. He told me he had fancy cars too but he would rather drive the old beetle…He once bought a decanter of whisky that looked like Elvis from the liquor store. That’s where he came up with the words in that song, ‘I drank Elvis to the pelvis’”.

We’ve all had “choices” since the day that we were born. And when we try to escape responsibility by blaming, or with lame excuses, we end up escaping freedom. We become, “whitewashed tombs…full of dead men’s bones” (Matthew 23:26-28). We bury ourselves alive under every shovel full of excuses. And we really know how to shovel it don’t we. After all, it comes natural.

Men and women have been blaming since the “Garden of Eden”. You know the story; the serpent talked Eve into eating the forbidden fruit. Then Eve gave Adam a bite. And suddenly, “Their eyes were opened and they knew they were naked.”(Genesis chapter 3) And when God confronted them how did they respond? Adam blamed, “It was the woman you gave me.” Then Eve blamed, “The serpent tricked me”. Or in the words of “Geraldine”, the old standup comedian, Flip Wilson’s character, “The Devil made me do it!”

We aren’t much different are we? Several years ago my marriage was on the rocks. Or on second thought, maybe I was. I vividly remember sitting at the kitchen table and praying (blaming?), “Lord if only Susie…” Before I finished my sentence, that “still small voice” of God (I Kings 19:12) spoke to me loud and clear, “What are you doing to show her that she is the most important person in the world to you? There’s never any excuse for unholy behavior. You are responsible to me no matter what anybody else does. You just put me first and I will take care of the rest.” That’s been over thirty years and three daughters ago. Thank God for loving me just the way I was, but loving me too much to let me stay that way.

You see, lame excuses don’t fly with God. God can’t and won’t forgive excuses. But the good news (The Gospel) is, He will forgive sins repentantly confessed: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (I John 1:9) So, don’t you think it’s high time to stop blaming and “come clean”?