Old Before Your Time

I believe Ed was 88 years old when we met. He promised his friend he would look after his wife after his death. Ed orchestrated Dorothy’s care, checked on her at least twice a day and eventually hired 24-hour care. During our first meetings we faced some difficult challenges, but our meetings became less formal and more personal. We shared experiences, ideas, beliefs and philosophies. Keeping Dorothy at home became no longer possible and we arranged admission to a local nursing home. It was to be our last visit. Ed signed the form to revoke Dorothy from Hospice and I stated, “Ed, I guess this is the last time we’ll be meeting” and Ed asked, “But can’t we just meet as friends?”

We’ve met as friends every other Thursday for three years now. He always brings me a stack of verses, poems or articles and states, “I thought these might help you in your job… I really like this public relations stuff.” Our meetings are very spontaneous but we always end up on a personally and spiritually challenging topic. Ed states, “I like it when we come here unarmed and unrehearsed.”

Ed is now 92 and he thankfully proclaims “I give God all the credit for my longevity. He is my pilot and my guide; my judge and my jury.” Ed carries a beeper and cell phone and still does taxes for select clients. He drives about 3000 miles a month taking his developmentally disabled daughter rides; because “she loves it”. People tell him, ‘Pop, you’re too old to do that.’ But he replies, “I don’t count my birthdays I count my blessings. I don’t think about how old I am, I think about the job I have to do.” He told me, “When I’m driving I just obey the signs and keep it between the lines.” Ed becomes frustrated when he hears people talk about being too old to do this or that. He contends we become old before our time when we are old in our minds.

I’m reminded of a Home Care patient I met several years ago. She and her husband were both Polish immigrants and were both in their seventies. There was a small piano with several music books in the corner of the living room. I asked who played and the husband stated, “My wife always wanted to play the piano so she started teaching herself about five years ago. We’ve had so much enjoyment singing together.” If she had told herself, “I’m too old” they would have deprived themselves of 5 years of enjoyment and wonderful memories.

One more story and I’ll close. While driving, I heard a call-in radio show, “Doctor Toni”. A lady called in for advice about whether to attend college to pursue a new career. She asked, “I’m 54 years old. It will take me at least 4 years and I’ll be 58 when I finish. Am I too old to start all over?” Dr. Toni asked, “How old will you be in 4 years if you don’t go back to school?” In other words, what do you have to lose?

It’s never too late start doing what’s right or what we enjoy. The next time we tell ourselves we are too told to start something new or pursue a dream or goal, let’s remember Ed. Let’s count our blessings not our birthdays. Let’s keep driving and just obey the signs and keep it between the lines. Let’s not end up with an epitaph that states, “Died, age 45, buried age 70”.