You'll Always Be My Horse Even If You Never Win a Race

I believe Dee was in her mid fifties when admitted to hospice; a prominent beautician who owned a salon. You have to love the name, “Dee’s Wigwam”. It’s been at least ten years since Dee died so the details have faded. I can’t even recollect her illness, but I’ll never forget her elegance and grace, her spiritual attractiveness. There was just something about her.

I had a brief encounter with Dee’s daughter; in her mid twenties, mature and confident beyond her years. I can’t even remember her name but I’ll never forget the lesson. Dee was admitted to Mercy Hospital and her daughter and I sat in the lobby getting acquainted. Her daughter testified about what a “wonderful mother” Dee had been. She recounted, “Mom always told me, ‘You’ll always be my horse even if you never win a race.’ ”

What unconditional love and acceptance! No wander her daughter exuded a maturity and confidence beyond her years. This is the kind of love that extinguishes the fear of failure and rejection; that frees a person to risk, to grow, to become who they truly are.

Paul Tournier, a Swiss physician, in his book, “The Adventure of Living”, refers to “the principle of helping”: “You can’t help a person become all they can be until you accept them just the way they are. “ It is unconditional love and acceptance that encourages a person to stand naked before God and another human being. And it’s only by daring to step out from behind our personas, our defenses and pretenses, into the light of truth that we avail ourselves to the very presence, grace and forgiveness of God. Without confession, without honesty, without admission there can be no true forgiveness, acceptance or relationship. You see, God can’t forgive excuses, only sins openly confessed, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (I John 1:8-9)

But stepping out from behind our pretenses and defenses takes more than courage, it requires trust. And the world doesn’t condition us to trust does it? But I am here to tell you that you can trust God! I dared to trust Him over thirty years ago.

I was disillusioned with myself, ashamed, guilty, and desperately searching for God knows what, to fill the void inside me. I thought, “I’ll read the Bible”, so I read from midnight to five o’clock in the morning, but no change! I prayed, “God what do you expect from me! I give up! I can’t do it! If I’m going to be saved you’re gonna have to do it for me.” But still no epiphany. I sighed and decided to open the Bible and give God “one more chance”. I turned to Matthew chapter 7 and read, “ Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you…If you being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” I thought, “Surely it can’t be as simple as just asking. Surely God expects me to clean my life up a little first.” But how could I undo the things I’d already done?” So I decided to take God at His word and I prayed, “God, either you are a liar or you’re telling the truth. And if it’s true, it’s true for me too. So I’m asking.”

There’s no way I can communicate the love and grace that filled my heart. I couldn’t believe that anyone would accept and love me just the way I was. That day I became His horse even if I never win a race. This is the kind of love we all long for. This is the kind of love a person will live and die for.

How about you? Do you long to be accepted just the way you are? Then dare to step out from behind your pretenses and defenses and stand naked before God, the creator and lover of your soul. But be forewarned for, “God loves you just the way you are, but He loves you too much to let you stay that way.” (Author unknown)