Since I'm Still Here I May As Well Live

This is part three of Doc’s story (Read part 1, 2, 4). I’m so thankful to Doc for his willingness to share the seasons of his heart. Pride keeps most of us from being honest about our fears, our weaknesses, our uncertainties and it is pride that keeps us imprisoned with them. But Doc dropped the shields of defense and the masks of pretense. He poured himself out and I am the better for it; and I hope you will be too. “As iron sharpens iron so does a man his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Doc, a physician turned patient, had come a long way since first diagnosed with kidney cancer. When he took care of his unfinished business he declared, “I feel like a boy let out of school!” Then Doc realized “the peace of God that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7); Doc shared, “Some people receive a special strength from the Lord…I just relax and a special peace comes over me. It feels so good!”

It was as if Doc’s work was finished, his bags were packed and he was waiting at the station. But five months later he was still here. Doc was still bed bound but his family had moved his hospital bed into their Florida room so he could enjoy the sunshine. One day I felt impressed to ask him, “Where are you on the road today?” And Doc replied, “It’s strange that you would ask me that today. I was just lying here thinking hat since I’m still here, I may as well live.”

So Doc moved back into the house where his old office was attached. He eventually got up in a wheelchair and spent time at his computer. He even cooked from his wheelchair. He bought a new Bose music system and enjoyed listening to music. One day Doc said, “You know what I need is one of those motorized scooters so I can get out and around.” So I delivered one that was donated to Hospice. Doc made some modifications, attached a basket to the front and routinely rode it down the road to the grocery store to shop. I appreciate him sharing an amusing experience on one of his treks; “I had an accident on the way to the store. I wasn’t paying attention. I was thinking about how to put a cruise control on my scooter and I hit a root and turned over. The worst thing was that two old women had to help me back on. It was really humbling.”

Doc passed on several years ago but his words echo in my mine, especially when I feel like giving up; especially when I say to my self, “What’s the use”. Doc reached the place of acceptance without resignation. Doc continued living the best he could with what he had. He ceased being a victim and became a survivor.

Are you at a place in your life where you feel like giving up? I know it’s not easy. But if Doc can do it maybe we can too. We may not be what we used to be, we may not be what we wish, but since we’re still here, we may as well live. “When our lives are over, may it not be etched in our tombstones: ‘Died age 40, buried age 70’” (Coloring Outside the Lines; Howard Hendricks).

“Who shall separate us from the love of God…Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword…in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” (Romans 8: 31-39)

Also read:
Part 1
Part 2