Listening with Your Heart

This is part four of a series about Tom (read part 1, 2, or 3), a hospice patient with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). I started out viewing Tom as a patient, then a fellow pilgrim, and now as a friend and spiritual brother. Through our relationship I’ve found the proverb to be true, “As iron sharpens iron so does a man his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17) I sincerely believe I’m better for knowing Tom.

In case you haven’t been following Tom’s story I’ll summarize. Tom’s shared insights about humility, stating, “You have to see who you are and who God is”. He’s shared about patience, based upon his conviction that, “God can make something good come out of everything…but some things you may have to wait an eternity for.” And lastly Tom shared about the importance of being a discriminating listener.

I thought I’d completed the series until I visited Tom yesterday and he said, “God’s been telling me, ‘You’ve listened to Me with your ears. Now I want you to listen to Me with your heart.” I asked Tom what the difference was and he explained, “When you listen with your ears you use your mind. When you listen with your heart you use your spirit. Your mind tries to justify itself. Your mind judges but your heart loves. And out of the abundance of your heart your mouth speaks.” Tom pointed out how we can misuse our minds to filter or censor God; we rationalize and intellectualize to justify our positions, to prove we are right.

I confessed to Tom that I’m not worthy to “cast the first stone”; I stand guilty myself. Tom responded, “You and about five billion other people. We all are.” Then it got real personal, in both directions. I won’t share Tom’s part but I will mine. And I hope my wife listens with her heart, not her ears. I told Tom about how my friend, Gregg, and I mutually committed to praying more for our wives and to hold one another accountable. After our men’s meeting at church last Saturday I complained to Gregg about some disappointment in our marriage. Gregg’s response reflected his commitment to hold me accountable; “Loren, when you get right down to it, love is always in spite of something isn’t it?” Immediately I realized that all differences don’t have to be worked out to your own satisfaction; they can be understood, accepted, respected and even appreciated. How selfish and self righteous I’ve been. I’ve been listening with my ears instead of my heart.

I’m reminded of Jesus’ discourse with the notoriously self righteous Scribes and Pharisees, “Woe to you Scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you pay tithe…and have neglected the weightier matters of the law; justice and mercy and faith.” (Matthew 23:14) When we only listen with our ears and misuse our minds to justify ourselves, we end up with self righteousness. When we listen to God with our hearts and obey, we end up with holiness and godliness. Don’t you think it’s better to be ruled by God than our limited reason or emotions?

I’ll end with a nugget shared by another friend, Jerry, “Sometimes it’s better to be kind than it is to be right?”

This is part four of a five part series. Follow this link to read part 5.